Irrational

Do you ever feel like you are being completely irrational and over reacting to something, yet just can't stop yourself from doing it anyway? Or on the other hand, think you might be following an instinct, and you'd be stupid and naive not to act on it? Human beings are odd creatures.

Chris' birthday was this past week. I have been emotionally unstable the entire week, and it's starting to get on my nerves. I'd like to feel normal, please and thank you. Maybe these images I've been saving will cheer me up :)

I need this tattoo to be on me!

Kisses and Cupcakes, Jess

getting back to myself

I haven't posted pictures of my outfits in months, but I finally took some pictures the other day. Check out my lookbook! :)

Kisses and Cupcakes,

Jess

My hiatus is over.. I think

I haven't posted much lately, because my life has changed so much. I am going to try to get back into posting regularly I hope. I'll start out by posting some images that I've found recently that have cheered me up or pulled on my heartstrings.

My ridiculous friends. They make me laugh sometimes when I feel like I've forgotten how. They stand up for me when I can't do it myself. They remind me I'm not a horrible person even when there is so much hate coming at me I don't know what to do. Thanks, girls. (Not just these two, either. You all know who you are and I love each and every one of you.)

I think this is a beautiful piece of art. It's the seven deadly sins illustrated by these amazing 70s style girls.
Starbuck and Apollo. They were meant to be together no matter what anyone else says. Have I mentioned how much I frakking love Battlestar Galactica?

Just pure and simple, beautiful love. I am a big fan of vintage kissing pictures.
There is a rainbow at the end of all the sadness :)

Kisses and Cupcakes,

Jess

This One's For You

I'll always miss you. 

Goodbye My Lover- James Blunt

Did I disappoint you or let you down? Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown? 'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won 
So I took what's mine by eternal right Took your soul out into the night It may be over but it won't stop there I am here for you if you'd only care 
You touched my heart you touched my soul You changed my life and all my goals And love is blind and that I knew when My heart was blinded by you I've kissed your lips and held your head Shared your dreams and shared your bed I know you well, I know your smell I've been addicted to you
Goodbye my lover Goodbye my friend You have been the one You have been the one for me
Goodbye my lover Goodbye my friend You have been the one You have been the one for me
I am a dreamer and when I wake You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take And as you move on, remember me Remember us and all we used to be 
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile I've watched you sleeping for a while I'd be the father of your child I'd spend a lifetime with you
I know your fears and you know mine We've had our doubts but now we're fine And I love you, I swear that's true I cannot live without you
Goodbye my lover Goodbye my friend You have been the one You have been the one for me 
Goodbye my lover Goodbye my friend You have been the one You have been the one for me 
And I still hold your hand in mine In mine when I'm asleep And I will bear my soul in time When I'm kneeling at your feet

How Things Change

I haven't written a blog in quite a while for many reasons. My life has changed drastically in the past month. A break up turned into a horrible tragedy, and the world lost one of its most beautiful souls. I can't say much about it due to his family, but he is very missed by many people. I wish so badly that things would have turned out differently and I could have been best friends with this amazing boy instead of losing him. Heaven has gained one smart, funny, "burger" angel after our loss.

I am now fully moved into my condo, and am so thankful to have one of my very best friends in the world as my roommate. I honestly don't know what I would have done without her here with me through this time in my life. I am so, so thankful to my friends. Each and every one of them has helped me more than they can imagine, and because of them I am able to not blame myself and continue on with my life. My wonderful, supportive family has also been here with me, and I am so happy for that. I also am fortunate enough to have been seeing someone who completely understands my pain, and is so unbelievably patient. He listens to me cry, and talk about how much I miss the boy I lost. I cannot believe how lucky I am sometimes to have someone so willing to put up with the intense emotions and stress of this. He was with me the day I found out, and has been with me ever since.

I will always love and miss my sweet boy that is now gone. I so badly wish I could have mourned properly and attended the funeral, and had closure. I wasn't given that opportunity, so I am considering the idea of having a memorial for him, the way he would have wanted to be remembered. Not a day goes by where I don't feel the immense loss his death has caused, but all I can do is live my life and be strong.

Check!

I checked some items off my looking-forward-to list! I attended the Oscars party with my friend Kalyn in frivolous Lady Gaga inspired costumes, bought some JPG items from Target, went to Jaz's birthday, dressed up for the premiere of Alice in Wonderland, and saw Muse live!

Kalyn and I with teased hair and sassy outfits for the Oscars party.
The "Golden Girls Eating Cheesecake" picture at Twinsie's birthday. Kalyn's face is amazing.
All the pictures were messed up, and this is the only decent one! But they look great at least :)
My Alice costume (through the looking glass, get it? ha)
Me and Jaz all dressed up and I assume looking into Wonderland.

Alice and the Queen of Hearts

The best live show I've ever seen, Muse.

Me and Jamie at Muse!

I LOVE my friends!!!

Kisses and Cupcakes,

Jess

Oh, how I love to cook

I cook dinner at least once a week, and bake even more than that. However, I can NEVER remember to photograph the food I make! Almost nothing makes me happier than cooking/baking for people I love, and them really enjoying it. I had a few of my wonderful girlfriends over for the finale of The Bachelor (worst choice in Bachelor history, by the way) and I made dinner for everyone. I had fried spaghetti balls for appetizers, and homemade pizzas for dinner. We were in such a rush to watch the show, that the only thing I got to photograph was dessert, a chocolate-almond torte.

I used oranges and an almond windmill cookie as a garnish as a nod to the flavors in the torte
I had to go over the top with the torte pictures since I had none of my other dishes! :) Hopefully I'll remember next time.

Kisses and Cupcakes,

Jess